I've noticed that my depressed mood kinda goes in a pattern. There'll be a period when I feel pretty good. I'm reasonably happy (not ecstatically happy though), able to cope easily and enjoy things. This will usually last for a day, sometimes two. Then, the cheerful mood kinda wears off and I start to feel nothing. I feel numb. This'll usually last for 2-3 days, maybe more maybe less. Then I start to fall back into my depressed mood, which'll last for weeks. I'll reach a point where I am severely depressed (for about a week or two, maybe more). I cry all the time, feel physically ill and barely have the motivation to get out of bed. I just want to lay in bed and cry all day. Sometimes, I'll get to the point where I have suicidal thoughts. Then, I slowly work my way up to feeling okay again. And the cycle sort of starts over. I don't know whether this is because when I'm severely depressed, I sort of start trying hard to focus on getting well again. Sorry if none of this make sense. I just want to know if this is considered "normal" and maybe some idea as to why this happens. Really really sorry if this is confusing. I'm going to ask my psychologist the same question when I go for my next appointment in 2 weeks time.
Thank you. Answers will be appreciated. I'm not after a diagnosis. Just maybe experiences of people who have felt similar feelings.
