My 9 year old soon too be step-son is not wiping properly. We had talked with him about it, showed him how to use a lot of toilet paper, tell him take his time and don't stop till everything is clean, provided wet wipes in every bathroom ect. His father and I have discussed how nasty it is, not to mention unsanitary, and that people will make fun of him for smelling. He still has dirty underware. My fiance would get pissed and throw them out after yelling at his son but that just costs us money and the problem is still not fixed. Every time I get on him about it he either cries or says I was sick today. In the begining I gave him the benefit of the doubt but now I am pissed! We wont let him eat spicy foods when we have him, I have taken allowance away, I am even thinking of having him hand wash his dirty underware, what next?? His mom says she does not notice it as much and doesnt know what to do. He is a bright kid with good grades and this is generally the only problem we have but in my opinion this is a huge probelm..... any suggestions????
Answers (1)
Are his underwear super dirty? Or is it just alittle? If it's just a little I think your making a big deal over nothing and you should leave it alone... If it's alot then Maybe try a calmer approach. I understand that it can be frustrating but yelling and taking things away isn't benifical in this situation. Have you tried sitting him down and calmly discussing why he does it? Is he having problems going to the bathroom? He may be embarassed to tell you because everytime he has an accident he gets yelled at. take a big breath and try and not over react when this happens.
Hope this helps
I apologize, I didn't mean to come off as rude and I completely agree with you. I think that having him hand wash his own under wear is a good idea as well maybe i want to use the threaten but it's all I can think of lol, but maybe threaten to make him wear " diapers"( just like the ones some older kids use at night if they wet the bed) just explain to him that it's a big boy thing to take care of yourself including wiping correctly, and until he can do that diapers it is, like a toddler. Maybe that will make him try harder. Boys at 9 would not want to have to wear a diaper like a baby
hopefully this is more helpful, again I am sorry if I came across rude on my first comment, I didn't mean it they way I typed it out(- if that makes sense)
Please do not apologize! I am just frustraded and stressed. I was in no way offended by your suggestions. Its just that I have tried yours and everyone elses suggestions regarding this matter! I have been told by friends to try diapers but that seems sooo wrong plus I do not want to be taken to court by his mother!. I am going to be patient and pray to God It gets better! Thanks
I have to say from experience that yelling is always the wrong answer. I myself did that same thing to my step-child and I totally understand that as a LAST resort after many other efforts that the feeling to scream is easily done. My 10 yr old had this same issue. After every attempt I could imagine I tried the approach of keeping track of what he was doing at the time of his "problems" and then I would sit him down and talk about the issue. After many many conversations without yelling and causing shame about his hygiene, I was horrified to found out that he had been molested by an Uncle on his biological mother's side of the family. He had apparently believed that as long as he kept his bottom "dirty" that the Uncle wouldnt want to bother him. I pray that I never feel the feeling that I had when he told me that ever again. I felt horrible for every loud voice and every complaint I ever made to him about his issue. Try to get to the bottom of the issue and see what it is that is causing it b/c no child wants to smell and be viewed as dirty. I pray the issue your step son is having isnt the same as mine but there is a reason behind it. Take him to a doctor and see if that helps. Always remember that shaming a child will only make him hide it better and feel like he cant trust you enough to come to you in the future. I know its easy to get frustrated but try to keep it in mind not too. Good luck!
It depends sometime a little sometimes a lot! Even a little is wrong at the age of 9 sorry it does not seem ok to us. Well we have been calm for the past sayyyy 2 years. We have calmy tried to explain the problem . He always has a different excuse! My stomach hurt, i didn't know it was there, I was running and it happened, i felt sick ect. So Calmy I asked his mother to possible take him to the doctors in case there is a medical problelm. Or I will take him myself but still nothing is fixed. I agree that Yellling at a child is never the first option but at nine years old with this problem, what other option do we have? It is nasty and needs to be resolved now. I researched info on this problem and I found that MOST boys who do not use proper hygene in the present tend to carry the nasty habit on until they are adults! Why should anyone have to deal with that? Even more why would you want your child or anyone for that matter to be made fun of because they smell or have dirty undies???? If you are of normal intellegence there should be nooo issue with wiping! I am taking a deep breath and trying to avoid this sweet boy from having further issues????????????