Hell, if KY jelly went off the market, the whole California Angels pitching staff would be out of baseball.
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I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull. The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won't matter if I get this guy out.
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I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.
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I'm mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another.
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If it had been me out there, I'd had bitten him his ear off. I'd have Van Gogh'ed him.
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Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.
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Most of the managers are lifetime .220 hitters. For years pitchers have been getting these managers out 75% of the time and that's why they don't like us.
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People are too hung up on winning. I can get off on a really good helmet throw.
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That was real baseball. We weren't playing for money. They gave us Mickey Mouse watches that ran backwards.
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The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be.
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The only rule I got is if you slide, get up.
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The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.
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You have two hemispheres in your brain - a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.
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You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church.
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You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.
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