As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
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Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.
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Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.
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Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away.
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Health food makes me sick.
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I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
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I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
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It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club.
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Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.
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Ross begat Shawn. He handed down the crown of St Peter to Shawn.
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The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.
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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
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The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?
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There is no question that Rumanian-Jewish food is heavy. One meal is equal in heaviness, I would guess, to eight or nine years of steady mung-bean eating.
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When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.
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