All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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Art is a form of catharsis.
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As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
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By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying.
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Drink, and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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Excuse me, I have to use the toilet. Actually, I have to use the telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.
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Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
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Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
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Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.
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He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
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He [Robert Benchley] and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
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Hell's afloat in lovers' tears.
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow.
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I can't write five words but that I change seven.
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I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.
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I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
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I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the darn things.
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
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I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
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If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
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If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
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It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
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Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, may be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
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Money is only congealed snow.
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey; The horse doth with the horseman away.
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My verses, I cannot say poems. I was following in the exquisite footsteps of Miss Millay, unhappily in my own horrible sneakers.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania.
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One more drink and I'll be under the host.
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People are more fun than anybody.
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Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.
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She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
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Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.
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Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
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Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of the tires.
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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The two most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed".
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There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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They sicken at the calm that know the storm.
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
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This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
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This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
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This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
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This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
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Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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You can't do four movies and be good to everybody and be flying all night and shooting all day with a different wig and then be going to sing on Broadway without feeling a little tired. You endlessly feel you're letting somebody down.
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
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