A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment.
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As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
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Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous...
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.
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I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
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Most of the arguments to which I am a party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
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The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
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The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
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