Wilson Mizner Quotes

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.

Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Art is science made clear.

Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

God help those who do not help themselves.

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor, unassisted.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

The first hundred years are the hardest.

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.

You sparkle with larceny.