I am a bisexual male. I have a very close friend, fairly new too, who says he's straight. He knows of my orientation, in fact he's the only one who does and he knows he's the only one. I have strong feelings for him, but figured he didn't because he says he's straight. I've never told him my feeling for him, but sometimes I make hints. Every now and then, we will sit in my car for hours and listen to music and talk when we should really be going home and going to bed. During our music listening, we will both often turn our heads towards one another and stare into each other's eyes. The longest it happened might have been around 7-8 seconds. To me, that's a long time. It only used to happen when we'd be alone in my car, but now it's happening other places too, although NEVER when our other friends are around. What does this mean? Could he possibly have feelings for me?
Responses (6)
Possibly, being close friends and people try to be like their friends, he may be carious but afraid to admit it because he has never felt this way before until he became friends with someone like you. Also, it could just be you like him and are making yourself believe he likes you by looking for the littlest things and making them into bigger things in your head.If he is comfortable with your orientation and is still your friend, he knows their is a possibliity you may like him. But he isnt letting it get to him. Just tell him hes a good friend, you dont wanna ruin the friendship and its ok if he feels that way about you but you are cool with being friends or more than friends. if he just wants to be friends, you wont bother him anymore about it and only be a friend.
I hope this helps
Like, it takes my breath away it can be so intense. And he'll like notice how long he's been doing it and he'll look away quickly and exhale a big breath. Kind of hard to explain. Also, I'm 21 and he's 23, if that matters. We met at our college's musical in the fall that we were both in. We both commute from our home, and both live about an hour away from the school (in opposite directions.) Just a little more background for you guys...
It could be very intense indeed. However, aside from his possible feeling for you, you are mostly his true friend. True, real friends are 100% honest with each other and don't judge the other's decisions. What he is most likely going through, is the same as most other young men experience. What really is my sexual identity? If you are truly his friend, in the strongest sense, help him answer his questions, without judgement, and without trying to sway him one way or the other. That is a large responsibility and a difficult one, not seeking to benefit. So if he's a friend help him, don;t read him.
I wouldn't know where to begin though because it's not like he hints things through words, only looks, and only so often. Although there was one time shortly after I came out to him where he told me his theory that in a nature sense, every human is to some degree bisexual...this is when we were drinking together one night. He then made the comment that sometimes people will try and do "anything" for pleasure. Of course it got me excited, but at the same time I stayed realistic and didn't further that conversation (although I probably should have). That might be the only time when he actually SAID things that hinted towards his curiosity. I wouldn't know how to even start to say anything, too. The last thing I want is for him to become awkward around me.
maybe tell him look i really like you and think you are feeling the same way and afraid to admit it. but its ok. (keep it short. but to the point) and if he says no or backs away say you were just kidding and wanted to see what he would do. but he does sound interested.. or try makin a move and if he holds back say i was only kiddiing
Just wondering what came of this? As I'm in exactly the same situation with a guy who started at work in December with me- prolonged eye contact and when we are in a group I often look up and see that he is just looking at me.
He has asked me about where I am in relationships in the past (I'm openly gay) but when I asked him he said that he has had a girlfriend before and needs to sort through some stuff before he could have another one? So this seems to disagree with the whole 'being interested in me' concept.
But then he has given me a cute nickname and increases the x's on messages when we talk. Soon after meeting he said I had 'grown on him pretty fast' and after talking about what he may want for his birthday he said that "you are bday present enough for me".
I am so confused as don't want to ruin the friendship but am so caught up on this guy. It's slowly driving me crazy so think if need to say something big didn't know how it turned out for you or if anyone could give me any advice?
Ben
I did tell him last week when we were sitting in my car that I was really happy we were friends. We just met in November, and I'm already closer to him than I think I've been with any other friend. I told him this, and he started to tear up....I just think there's something more there, but he's afraid to admit it to himself. I've thought about the possibility that I've been just been creating big things out of little things, but there's no denying how intense the eye contact is sometimes.