I am in the eight grade and I am a perfectionist. I have aspirations of attending an ivy league school, and am constantly worrying over this. I want to become a psychiatrist despite being fairly socially inept, and I believe I may have unreasonable expectations of myself. I know if I do nothing but work to excell in school and in extracurriculars, I may create a decent application. I have spent my entire life chasing the "satisfaction dragon". If I make honor roll, I ll be happy. Now if I make distinguished honor roll, I ll be happy. If I make NJHS, I will be happy. Now if I manage to have final grades above 95% s, I will finally be happy... my entire life has been like this. I believe the root of my unhappiness is perfectionism, and unless I make a change I will lead a successful but critically undervalued life. How can I learn to be happy? I cannot live with constant anxiety, and suicidal thoughts now come frequently. Though I am well-liked at school, I am still socially inferior due to a neurological disorder resulting in speech comprehension being severly challenged. I feel inferior in nearly every way, and I want to forge a lasting happiness. How do I do this?
One can achieve eternal peace and everlasting happiness by realizing the Truth of what is the real meaning of happiness. Happiness is not something that you get it, it's not a place, it's not a person, happiness is a state of being. Why are we unhappy? We are unhappy because we are ignorant, we believe we are the body that suffers, the mind that worries, and the ego that get agonized. We are none of these. The moment we realize we are not the body, the mind, and the ego, we are liberated from all suffering but we are not able to realize this because we are imprisoned in ignorance. We feel inferior, who feels inferior? It is the ego. Why should you feel inferior you are a particle of God, you are a manifestation of God. You want happiness, you can't get happiness. Happiness is a state of being, stop, and be happy now, because happiness is in this moment, nothing stops you from being happy.