... She is rude and unhelpful and horrible and I cant do a thing about it. When she says things to me I go into such a rage it is hard to pull myself out of it. What do I do?
Get into therapy and anger management.
Then take your mom out for a burger and practice using your manners because if she is "rude, unhelpful and horrible" you are negative, uncompassionate and have anger issues.
Take turns telling stories, dont throw your french fries at each other and say one positive thing about each other.