My boyfriend and I have had our ups and downs. I have a small temper, but I'm just a girl. We had a fun night drinking together at his house, he fell asleep on his couch and I went upstairs to wait for him, but I read his text messages... which i usually never do. I found a text to a random girl that said "your a babe" at 3 in the morning, and he was most likely drunk. I was really hurt by it, I never would do that to him, when I'm drunk I'm more conscious about my actions. But being drunk that night i was really upset and went to wake him up. I asked him "who was the babe, who was that, why would you do that" he wouldn't even wake up when I was talking to him, he had to go to bed anyways so i had to wake him up. But i was so angry I took his phone and slammed it on his chest. like a punch, Not too hard, enough to where he could feel it, but I don't hurt him. He was furious and slammed me down to the floor, squeezed my arms and hit me a lot, punching me. i kicked him for defense but he kept hitting me. At this point i was in shock because he was being so violent, it continued in his room he grabbed my face and slammed my body against the wall, when he did that he hurt my eye pretty badly, the contact fell out and my eyelid is bruised. I ran to my car to cry but couldn't drive because i was drunk. But he came out and was demanding me to get out of the car, threatening me and left dents in it from him punching it. I got out and went to bed with him. But slept no where near him, on the opposite side of the bed. I cried myself to sleep as he was telling me to shut up because i was being loud. and its my fault for hitting him first. He thinks I'm hypocritical because i hit him first. But when i hit him its like a girl. he hits me like a man, harder, and a lot more. I know its my fault for starting it, but Im just so hurt from that text. My eye, both arms and back are bruised. I left early in the morning the next day. He called 2 hours later not remembering anything. He doesn't understand what happened. and Im just appalled. I do feel like a hypocrite because i did hit him, but was it okay for him to go this far? He came over even though i told him not to, saying he was embarrassed doing this to me, he felt like he was set up bc i hit him while he was sleeping, he was apologizing to me. and its just so hard, i don't know what to do. He was drunk and vulnerable, but he totally crossed the line because I'm here with big bruises on both arms, and a bruised eye lid. We've had hitting problems before, a long time ago though. he tells me if i don't want to get hit back, i shouldn't hit him. but he hurts me so much more, i don't hit him back after, its not a fist fight or anything. Things just got out of control with him. I don't know if i should forgive him because he was drunk and i started it, or if this is really a problem. please help me. should i accept his apology, was everything really my fault, Its so hard for me to get rid of him, because we've been together for so long, did he cross the line?
You are both losers. Please, DON'T breed.
If a girl even hints to me that she's going to physically violent, she's OUT.
1) dump him, if he hasn't already dumped you.
2) spend the rest of your days whining about what a wicked person he is
3) take a good hard look at yourself, if you can stand it
This is unbelievable!
Yes, you're the one who started this, and his drunk, but it does NOT make any excuse or reason to bit you like that!
Leave him RIGHT NOW! You're lucky that he just punch you in the face today, someday in the future he may do something more then that to you, and the next time you won't be so lucky. If you don't believe a stranger on the internet, ask someone that you trusts: If a man really cares about you, would he do anything like this to you?
Ok... So He should NEVER hit you, but you should also NEVER hit him. I understand that he may not remember, but guys that don't hit women don't do it when they're black out drunk either.
ALSO! The fact that he said he felt like he was "set up" the next day when he was apologizing and sober means that he isn't really sorry, because in his mind he thinks you set him up. What did he say about that text message? Stop blaming his texting other women and hit on his drinking.
More than the hitting you need to get out of this relationship because of that text message to another girl. GET OUT! If you don't want to get hurt again in both ways.
Make him pay for the damage on your car, or take his stupid ass to court.
I'm 17 and this has been happening with me and my boyfriend for over 2 years. We broke up for 6 months and now we are back together. I just can't seem to get over him and he knows how to win me over. I just wish it would stop now :( I really though he'd grown up but he still talks to other girls.
You should leave him, not matter if he was drunk or not I know he will still hit you even if he was my brothers do that same to there gfs don't be one of them leave while you can because if you don't it will continue and it will be hard to leave him , no man is suppose to hit a woman remember that.
This is a sad situation indeed. First and foremost a lot of the people in here are admonishing the boyfriend and not admonishing you for being completely out of line in your behavior.
Don't get me wrong the guy is a real piece of sh!t! However you are no better for the things you did! You were mad at him because you did something wrong and invaded his privacy. Had you not been nozy and invasive none of that would have gone on. Sure he is a piece of crap for flirting with someone else. You are one too for invading his privacy by going through his phone. Then you physically assaulted him. Anyone can play it down by saying it didn't even hurt them. How do you know? You don't, and even if you did that does not change the fact you still assaulted him. The fact it was with a phone and not your hands means it was assault with a weapon.
Do I think he being a man should have hit you back? No I do not, but I feel just as strongly that you had no business hitting him. You put yourself in a man's position when you decided to make it physical by assaulting him. You started a fight. As much of a giant puntang it makes for him to have kicked your ass you started the fight and got your ass whooped as a result.
Bottom line I hope you learn from your mistakes and never put your hands on a man again because not all of them are of the same mindset as myself or some of the better mannered people on here. Many unfortunately will just hit you back. I also hope you dump homeboy post haste as well as take him to court for the damage to your vehicle.
Either way the relationship is doomed not only due to the fact you are both abusive, but that you have both proven yourselves untrustworthy already.
Well, I was in a situation (not as bad as yours recently) where my male friend who I was sleeping with kept hitting me.. In my mouth as if I was his child. I never hit him back but I would tell him to stop hitting me. Until one day he did it again after me telling him numerous times to stop. I hit him back in his chest. He stopped looked me in my eyes and hit me in my chest right back. That's where I knew I couldn't be friends with this person and they have serious issues with themselves. I say there is no need to stay in a boxing match walk away still with your dignity and head held high. Let that person go. Love would never hurt you.
It's been a little while since you've posted this- I hope you decided to do whatever made you happy and feel safe. Your post pains me because this is how confused and concerned I felt when my boyfriend (now ex) began hurting me. When other posts told you to leave because it'll get worse are all absolutely true. Hitting me was always justified as he explained to me (while apologizing) and I always found it in my heart to forgive him and try to understand why it was "my fault". Later on he'd stop apologizing, saying I deserved it and it shattered everything I believed in and stood for but I kept forgiving because I Ioved him so much. He often resorted to choking me by the neck, pinning me down, punching me. And I could not defend myself. If I made him mad in public he'd slap me really hard on the back of the head and call me bad names and it was humiliating and degrading. He has given me a black eye and left many bruises and scars that everyone I've worked with has seen. To his family and friends, I was the "annoying stupid girlfriend" that he needed to be without and not once have they been exposed to the man that I lived with. The violence escalated very quickly, and to this day I feel crazy in the head and broken as a person. I trusted this man. It was very scary and heartbreaking to leave. But please, anyone who reads this, please love yourself enough to walk away. It started as something small and forgivable- mean words, loud tone.. but once allowed, it will get worse. Never lay your hands on someone in any harmful way no matter what emotions take over you- especially if you lay with them every night and tell them you "love" them. This is not love.
Um no, jimmycal, there is IN FACT a law that says, men should NEVER hit women. Now, im not too sure when this question was posted but I'll still share my opinion anyways. Firstly, has your boyfriend (or ex) ever gone through your phone? If not (which I hope), in a drunken state or not, you say your more conscious of your actions right? So, why would you go through his phone? In your relationship you should have enough respect and trust, for one another to not have to search through each's belongings. Secondly, you 'probably' shouldn't have gone to go hit him or 'slam the phone in his chest' however you wanna put it. You should have waited until your sober to sit down with him and have a mature conversation. Thirdly, your words of description are very horrendous; furious, slammed, punching, 'grabbed your face.' Your 'boyfriend' was NOT a boy at all. I'm 27, and I have definitely experienced what you have gone through, the whole teenage 'every girl wants a bad boy' phase, I did in FACT bring him to court and get a restraining order against him. All I had done, was yell at him for slapping a MARRIED lady's behind. I can understand, let's say your boyfriends name was Fred. I understand 'Fred' may have been angry that you went through his phone, but he had no right to bruise you. And it's your life, live it how you want to live it. But I personally think, that you leave him. And don't waste your time forgiving him. Tell your parents, friends so-forth, what has happened (if you choose to) surely, they'll all say to leave him because it's better of the two options. You can either A, stay with him and live in the fear that you might get hit once again, or even worse. Or do what I did, personally. B. bring him to court (if you'd like to, again, it's your life, just weighing some options here) get a restraining order, and find a REAL man. One that will make you happy. I understand he's drunk, and you've been together so long. But you said that he's hit you before. The first time you should have put your foot down and show him who's boss. Us woman, carry HUMANS inside of us for 9 months, and then push that human through our small vagina. We bleed all day all night, for 2-7 days straight and still carry out the activites we need to do for the day. Not to mention, that some of us have pain doing it. WE'RE MORE RECESSION-PROOF. WE EAT HEALTHIER. I'm not a feminist, just talking the truth. So I hope you read this (if this had been posted recently) and weigh your options very careful. Do it once, shame on you, Do it twice, shame on me.
It doesn't matter who started it. It matters what happens. Sure you guys were drunk but that's not and never will be a excuse to punch you several times, much less slam you against the wall. If I was you I would beat the crap outta him. I wouldn't care who was watching or what was happening. I would just punch him in face really really hard. I know it sounds cheesy but the thing I hate the most is when someone betrays someone else. That is the only (and I mean only) time when my anger goes loose. God now I sound mental.