My boyfriend and I have had our ups and downs. I have a small temper, but I'm just a girl. We had a fun night drinking together at his house, he fell asleep on his couch and I went upstairs to wait for him, but I read his text messages... which i usually never do. I found a text to a random girl that said "your a babe" at 3 in the morning, and he was most likely drunk. I was really hurt by it, I never would do that to him, when I'm drunk I'm more conscious about my actions. But being drunk that night i was really upset and went to wake him up. I asked him "who was the babe, who was that, why would you do that" he wouldn't even wake up when I was talking to him, he had to go to bed anyways so i had to wake him up. But i was so angry I took his phone and slammed it on his chest. like a punch, Not too hard, enough to where he could feel it, but I don't hurt him. He was furious and slammed me down to the floor, squeezed my arms and hit me a lot, punching me. i kicked him for defense but he kept hitting me. At this point i was in shock because he was being so violent, it continued in his room he grabbed my face and slammed my body against the wall, when he did that he hurt my eye pretty badly, the contact fell out and my eyelid is bruised. I ran to my car to cry but couldn't drive because i was drunk. But he came out and was demanding me to get out of the car, threatening me and left dents in it from him punching it. I got out and went to bed with him. But slept no where near him, on the opposite side of the bed. I cried myself to sleep as he was telling me to shut up because i was being loud. and its my fault for hitting him first. He thinks I'm hypocritical because i hit him first. But when i hit him its like a girl. he hits me like a man, harder, and a lot more. I know its my fault for starting it, but Im just so hurt from that text. My eye, both arms and back are bruised. I left early in the morning the next day. He called 2 hours later not remembering anything. He doesn't understand what happened. and Im just appalled. I do feel like a hypocrite because i did hit him, but was it okay for him to go this far? He came over even though i told him not to, saying he was embarrassed doing this to me, he felt like he was set up bc i hit him while he was sleeping, he was apologizing to me. and its just so hard, i don't know what to do. He was drunk and vulnerable, but he totally crossed the line because I'm here with big bruises on both arms, and a bruised eye lid. We've had hitting problems before, a long time ago though. he tells me if i don't want to get hit back, i shouldn't hit him. but he hurts me so much more, i don't hit him back after, its not a fist fight or anything. Things just got out of control with him. I don't know if i should forgive him because he was drunk and i started it, or if this is really a problem. please help me. should i accept his apology, was everything really my fault, Its so hard for me to get rid of him, because we've been together for so long, did he cross the line?
You should not stay with him! I have experience with domestic violence. I grew up in a home like that. You shouldn't hit your boyfriend, but for him to beat the crap out of you for it is unacceptable and scary.He is dangerous! I know you love him, but you really need to get over it unless you are willing to spend your life being abused and raising children in a toxic environment. You are worth more than that. You know what you need to do.
My annswer to your question us run as far aspossible my husband hits me i do start usually by a small lash but he pulls my hair till blood and i am loosing all my hair he hots me in my stomach tries to choc me im lucky i am strong physically but obviously to an extente.lisen before you get married and have 2kids like me run for your life all the luck to you and protection
I understand women should not hit men just like men shouldn't hit women but a REAL man would never hit a woman even if she did hit him first. He's a sad excuse for a man and you need to leave asap... Next time you might not be so lucky to get away with only bruises!! Been there done that!! Scars, surgeries, permanent minor brain damage... It only got worse and worse!!!
It s clear you both have dependency issues and aggressive jealous ways and truly should not waste each others time itll hurt soo mich more to stay then to just go and recover alone work on yourself .assualting each other is not a answer to anything and there is never a good enough reason . If i have a anger issue how many people provoke me in a day is that ok if a thousand get to me and i beat them all ? If he cared the true issue to get to was the text and cheating most likely. Seeing how he beat on you . a woman should not hit a man and a man should not lay a hand on a woman how is that love or care for one another! Even verbal abuse . . . too many are scared of being alone so they stay in violent abusive relations . . . .seems more and more its snowballing . RESPECT .TRUTH. TREAT AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. THATS TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE . LEAVE AND BE ALONE YOU ARE STUCK IN YOUR OWN ABUSIVE CYCLE CLEARLY . FIX U .LET GO . I LL PRAY YOU LISTEN . . YOU COULD BE HURT SERIOUS BY THIS MAN AND THOSE TYPE OF PARTNERS.
You shouldn't hit your boyfriend at all. Just because men don't have the right to hit women... Doesn't give the right for a woman to do that to man. Now I am a woman and understand that we do get upset and hit. We shouldn't but it does happen. We shouldn't take advantage of that situation. Anyways, going back to your question. I understand he was sleeping and hit you once by accident but, to continue like that until you went to bed and what not... No. That is abuse. People get startled when waking up all the time... And things happen but not to that extent. You should of handled it differently when waking him up regardless if drunk or not. I would suggest both not drinking if violence is a problem. For him, I would suggest not drinking anymore and getting some help. I would also suggest some space between the two of you
If he had thrown the phone back at you maybe that would have been fair but for him to hit you like a man repeatedly is absolutely not ok. I was in an abusive marriage with a sociopath for 10 years! And I can tell you he most likely DOES remember what happened and he would probably do it again tomorow given the right circumstances. And also it doesn't get better it only gets worse. get out while you can. Now he knows if you stay with him that there are no lines he can't cross. All he has to do is say sorry and you'll forgive him. He can cheat, beat you up, verbally abuse you as long as he says sorry afterwards. that's what you are saying by staying with him. Find a guy that treats you like a princess. They're out there i promise.