The Family, Then and Now
The Family, Then and Now Things were never easy within the family. But at a time when the family was oriented toward the production of goods, which alone made the survival of its members possible, there was an obvious necessity and a rational basis for their living and working together. Dire necessity did not permit putting into question the very existence of the family, despite the great emotional demands living together made on each of its members. Today the main economic activities of the family are in the nature of consumption — however productive may be what some of its members do in society. And from an early age on, each member of the family could survive without its support — since society at large is ready to provide support. Therefore, it is quite easy to put the existence of the family into question. This happens very frequently, not just as families separate, or fail to be formed, but also within families which to all outer appearance are still intact. But once the family needs seriously to justify its existence, it is no longer intact as a family in the old sense. The modern family, deprived of its ancient and firm basis in economic necessity, now tries to justify its existence through the emotional ties within it. These always were present, but they were a superstructure, good or bad, over the solid foundation of necessity. With the foundation of necessity removed, the emotions either tend to run rampant or to wither away. For example, at a time when protection against external enemies and feeding the family was its most important function, little freedom of choice could be given to any individual. The most difficult price for family living then was backbreaking labor, and one's station in life was determined once and for all by one's birth. On the other hand, the fact that everybody lived in one room and worked more or less in the same way at the same well-known tasks greatly facilitated consensus and social solidarity, the basis of good family relations. Since no family member was expected, or expected of himself, to develop a unique personality, everybody had an easy time fitting himself into the family. Societal progress has done away with the need for backbreaking work and has provided time and leisure for personality development. With it, indeed because of it, today the middle-class family expects each of its members to develop his unique personality, and so does each individual, more or less, himself. This new task of the family, to provide a setting for the development of a unique personality makes family consensus extremely difficult, if not impossible. Nothing is more problematic for a small group of quite different, unique individuals than to live in close quarters, in close harmony with each other