I'm a man in a fraternity at a large State University. I joined with hopes of finding the men that will be at my wedding and funeral, I was hoping to find brothers. It's been two years of living with these men, and while none are particularly hostile toward me, none seem to give a damn that I exist.
I come from a moderately large Midwestern town, where I had a cozy amount of friends, and a loving family. Now I'm hundreds of miles from home, and have nobody.
I've always been a loner, of course I was ready to change that when I left for college, buying guess it never really happened. I find myself spending nearly all day of everyday in my room, napping, doing class work, playing video games, or otherwise, just wallowing in my loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I make plenty of effort in trying to reach out to the guys and at the very least, become the quiet guy of their clique. But all of my efforts seem to be in vain, for I never (and I mean never), am asked to hang out with any of my 'brothers'. The only times I ever do anything remotely social with them, I end up sort-of inviting myself, or walking to the club alone to meet them.
Well I shouldn't say that nobody EVER asks me to do anything, I am often asked for rides (since I brought my truck), and for favors (I come from a quite wealthy family), but no, never am I asked to "grab a beer" or "hit the town", it's always, "hey man, could you give me a ride to the bars?" Or, "do you think your dad could hook me up with an internship?"
Every time I get a text from one of them, my eyes light up with hope that maybe, just maybe, someone wants let me know that the world hasn't forgotten about me. The sad thing is, I usually give in to their requests for rides just so I have someone to talk to for 5 minutes.
I know this description is kind of a clusterf**k of info, but I just need someone to tell me that I'll be ok. I never thought the day would come that I have virtually no friends.
I know what you're thinking, "Awww the wittle frat boy doesn't have any fwiends." But my depression is as real as it is for anybody else.