To go into detail, you've always thought everything has some type meaning, yet it turns out that you're the one who can't see the meaning with anything concerning yourself. Nothing seems to have any meaning, just one experience after another with nothing gained, when you've been the one to try to find meaning in everything. Another example is, I'm short. Before I became an adult, I was told by most that I was going to be tall, no complaints. I'm only explaining. I'm thirty-one, and I'm far from it. I'm the extreme opposite. You have multiple things in common with someone you know of who, odds are, would not want you in return, and for the person to not be an option anyway for whatever reason. What I mean by know of is that you don't personally know them, yet you have been able to learn things about them via others. At any rate, they would never be an option, let's say you know for a fact, in addition to them, odds are, not wanting you. Why then would you have everything in common with them? Basically, nothing makes sense. Everything is contradictory. Everything that seems that it should have meaning, due to its nature when it comes me, means nothing. What seems like it should mean something due to odds, or likelihood means nothing, or the opposite when it comes to me. Why is irony a theme with me, or what do you think when it's a theme in general. I don't know if this is philosophical, and/or spiritual, but why is it a pattern?