There's this awesome girl I met over the summer who I really hit it off with. We talked every day over the phone till like 2-3 am. She wrote me a letter from a summer camp where she couldn't take her phone. After a bit she told me that her friend really liked me. I told her that might be a problem bc I liked her. We agreed to not date as that would hurt our friend who really liked me. Around a week or two later, I go on a date with the friend, but it doesn't go anywhere. Around 2 weeks later, like an idiot, I ask the girl I'm legit into out. This time, it's a straight up no. I move on and we stay friends but don't talk half the amount we did. Now I see her yesterday and am just like "Crap I'm not over her." What do I do?
Answers (2)
There is nothing idiotic about trying. 90% of life is made up of bluffing with confidence; everybody wants results, nobody wants to do the work. And sometimes that's all you need. That said, you are neck deep in friendzone here. At the peak of your mutual interest, she claimed to prefer not to risk hurting her friend's feelings (of infatuation) than to commit to you in any way (I say claim since it's often difficult determining women's true motivations). You're better off fighting for a less lost cause.
I wonder, did she approach you initially or the other way around? She might have been gunning for breaking the ice for her friend longer than when she brought it up.
Indubitably, you have more information on the matter than could possibly be conveyed; I'm just trying to help you connect the dots from a more stoic perspective.
So she likes you genuinely - whether as a friend or more, I'm disinclined to assume, but little reason to be surprised given the time you've spent together (it's just prudent to heed potential red flags whenever). Be that as it may, she got that chance and still rejected it, and won't tell you why. Either you didn't ask or she doesn't want to offend you with the truth. You may persist with your attempts, it's just not as magically effective as in the movies. Knowing this, if you still believe that the direct method is worth the time and effort over trying something else or moving beyond this summer, then maybe it really is. Regret is a terrible companion.
Thanks man.
So, I have new info that may change your answer just a tad that I just found out about. Her best friend told me that the rejection surprised her just as much as me. Apparently the girl I liked had told her best friend that she wished that she could have a chance with me again. (This was between the first and second time I told her I was into her.) I'm pretty close with her best friend so I feel like I'm safer at least from the "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
Anyway, I brought it up with her because I was getting the sense that the other girl liked me. Obviously I was right lol.