I confessed to my crush and he was telling me that I'm cute but that he can't date me or anyone because he's still hung up with his ex. I told him that he should just reject me instead of being all nice about it but he said that what he said wasn't a rejection. So what is it?
Answers (4)
Keyword "still". Electing to await recovery rather than rebound. And you can't expect people to behave the way you want them to (or you can, and add a plethora of frustration to your daily routine).
I'd advise negotiating a platonic interaction to help speed the recovery and improve familiarity (to create something more meaningful than a crush); however, you might've missed that train.
Everybody is going through life for the first time. You would think parents and schools ought to teach you some social skills, but parents don't have time and schools don't want to be bothered. So you just accept that nobody knows how to act right. He can't or won't date you and there is no need to get specific about what to call that. By the time you get into your twenties you will understand these things better, but for now they are not worth your attention. Just go with the flow and find somebody else.
Be patient with him. Loss of a lover can be hard for anyone, whether it be a break-up or something else. It took me almost 8 years to fully get over the death of my high school lover. We were gonna have a kid too, (i got her pregnant), but she was shot and killed when she was 6 months pregnant. Her father was a very heavy drinker and was prone to have very limited temper. One day he was taking something, don't know what, particularly hard and while in a drunken stupor he shot her point blank range with a 20 gauge, killing her and the unborn child. I was devastated and tried to kill myself, but failed. All I am pointing out is to be patient. It really could be a big deal to him this thing about his ex, and pushing could just make it harder for the both of you. You want him to be comfortable with you, but also remember he might still be affected by whatever happened.
Ending Note: It has been 8 years since my girlfriend died. I only started completely forgetting about it and starting to move on just less than a month ago. My friends have noticed the positive change and i have been having more confidence and just started dating again.
