For 17 years, I was in a very abusive relationship, and raised my four children on my own, while their father was out partying, most of the time.
I finally left, taking my youngest children, and leaving my second eldest with her father, as she didn't want to leave the area, because of school, friends, etc. My eldest was living with flat mates.
Since that time, she has always blamed me for leaving her, even though I went because I had been beaten up, and had to go for fear of my youngest children and my life as well. We didn't make contact again for years, and I desperately wanted to make amends, although having little money, and an unhelpful family, it was really hard to get anywhere.
Over the last few years, we have spoken again, and my new husband and I have visited her twice, and she also came to our wedding. Which was lovely! She has admitted to me, that she should come and see me, but she says that she is just too lazy! Now she has a partner, and two beautiful children, and visits his parents all the time, plus other members of the family, especially at Christmas. My husband and I, used to go up and visit 3/4 times a year, only because we live 5/6 hours away, and I had a terrible time with travelling, as I suffer from muscular dystrophy, and can be in extreme pain, at times. So now we don't travel far, unless it is really necessary. Recently, I received an invitation to her wedding in 2017, but she has not rung me or talked to me about her dress, or the venue, or anything. I feel very sad that I am not involved, and as my youngest daughter is going to be a bridesmaid, I only learn bits and pieces of information from her. The latest is, that one of her aunties, who my daughter treats as a mother, is going to walk her down the aisle, and it is going to be a huge, extravagant affair. I don't want any sympathy, but quite honestly I feel like another wedding guest, and will be put at a table away from the couple's table. While the Aunty will be up there with them. I'm asking for advice, because I have been through so much heartache, abuse, and depression, that I don't need anymore. I know that she's my daughter, but I worry for my health, especially as I also suffer from hypertension, and severe depression. I'm so divided, and don't know what to do. Shall I stay, or shall I go?