I'm 18. I'm a guy and I feel that I am messed up because I have strong emotions for multiple girls and am unsure what I concerning these affections. There are 3 girls involved, my ex, a girl I am in a relationship with, and one I have met only recently.
First, my ex. We met last year, she is wierd, fierce and young (said she was 15). We lasted about two weeks, until she cheated on me (I don't believe her) and lied to me. Rarely does a day pass I don't think about her fondly.
Second, the girl I'm with. She was obsessed with me prior simply because I was friendly to her. She has self hate/harm issues, which doesn't bother me overly but she is rather negative, pessimistic and possessive. We've been together about 10+ months and split once. I can't remember a lot of things anymore. She makes me feel tired and drained. I feel guilty to my ex for being with her.
Lastly, new girl. With coloured hair and piercings I find her exciting and very interesting, we have many things in common and like each other. She understands me. Saw straight into me when first we met. She has a guy though and the sight of them together hurts a lot. Please don't judge me too harshly this was hard enough just to type. If your patience holds out and you think you can help, please comment your opinion.
What does it mean to be in love? Can I love more than one girl? Is it wrong?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by TotesMcgo...
- Topics:
- girl, love, multiple, emotion, affection, strong, feel, girls
Responses (3)
well it sounds like you might be on top of the weird i would go with the one that you feel more feelings for it would be the better option you must tell this gal how you feel because that may be the difference between feeling hurt and lonely all you really do is tell her and see where it goes from there
First I've got to warn you, because you're 18 it's not legal for you to have a physical relationship with a 15 year old, but there's nothing wrong with dating, just make sure you have the parent's approval. Sorry to hear you were cheated on.
I should also warn you about being with someone who is obsessive, pessimistic, possessive and self harming, it could lead to a very unhealthy relationship. If you keep getting back together and breaking up, that's an obvious sign that you shouldn't be together.
For the new girl: I suggest not pursuing her if she's already taken, you don't want problems with her boyfriend. I know it hurts, I've been through that, for now, just be happy being friends with her. If her current relationship doesn't workout then it would be okay, just don't try to cause the breakup.
For all these reasons, it's best to learn how to be alone, learn how to like yourself and just having friends. Relationships only create stress and problems as you already know. It's not as bad to be single as you might think. Find a hobby or take some classes, learning how to own your singleness will make you stronger, but it's not easy, I'm 24 years old and still learning.
Thank you for your advice and don't worry, we didn't do anything illegal.
I don't think it's weird. Actually pretty normal. Insticts dictate that we have lots of sexual relationships to keep the genes going. I feel the same way when I'm out of a relationship. But if I'm in one, I'm devoted to that person entirely.
Though not baring any ill will towards you for feeling that way. I've always said people have every little control on thier feelings.
If you feel bad about it though, and you don't want anyone to get hurt, you should think about what you want from a relationship, and if any of the girls you know now meet that criteria. If they do, great! If not, maybe it would be best to be alone for a while and look for someone else.
As a side note: there's nothing wrong with having multiple relationships if all participants agree with it.
Hope I helped
-Neutral
Unfortunately I strongly disagree you, it's possible to have multiple girlfriends, but you can only be married to one person. Polygamy is illegal for many valid reasons. If you have multiple partners and you're not married, I can't stop you, but it could very easily create a lot of problems in your life, it's very risky to get yourself involved in a love triangle, open relationships don't always end well. It's best to find that one person who you can be with forever.
I've had 10 brake ups pick the one u want more