So I know when my boyfriend lies... I'm not just suspicious. I've caught him and every time I prove it he belittles me and calls me crazy and manipulates me into believing him even when I KNOW he's lying... what do I do? I'm at the breaking point. .. I can't leave him but I cant go on like this... how do I get him too be honest?
This guy seems like not a very nice person if he lies to his girlfriend. But anyway all you need to do is confront him and keep on debateing with him until he tells you the truth THIS IS A SERIOUS ISSUE so don't back down even if he says your a spyco or something else that's not very nice hope I helped :) you can do it
I'm doing my best to live the straight and narrow and part of that is realizing that I have lied in the past. I recently lied to the mother of my son in order to express my point, which was ultimately, that my sons mother can do better than dating a drug dealing alcoholic and that was my final straw. I no longer wish to lie and as someone who doesn't want to lie any further...
It's up to him to apply himself towards wanting to be an honest man. I ask you this question... Who are you in control of? The answer should be, you are in control of yourself! So too, your friend is in control of himself. You can't choose what he says for him, but all you can do is choose to live your own life!
You wish to choose to stay with him you say.. then you must take the good with the bad, while being honest with one another. You want to improve the relationship by improving him, but honestly, the most you can do is express that you wish for him to better himself while improving yourself, you can't choose that for him!
And too, if you ever find yourself single again, remember, who is in control of your life? You are! Who is in control of his life? He is!
I currently find myself missing my family. The mother of my son chooses to raise him by her own life. I want to be a family and I wish we are a family everyday, but I accept that it is her choice! I wish I can find love today, but we're all individuals, so it's not like I can just go up to a woman like she's a pokemon and say 'pikachu I choose you.'
I use the abortion analogy. One persons body, one persons choice.
Perhaps you should both try relationship counselling in an effort to align both of your individual personalities by becoming stronger in self-awareness and coming to terms with the fact that we're all individuals. However, continue on as strong as possible no matter what happens, and ONLY if he proves to be incapable of changing for the better, then do you consider letting go and moving on.
Remember, in a long term relationship, we are rarely the exact same person that we were when we fell in love. The main idea is, to become aware... are we growing and changing for the better? Or are we growing and changing for the worse? Anyways, good luck and god speed.
Why can't you leave him - are you handcuffed together? Funny you say you know he lies, so you confront him, then let him talk you down. BUT, you continue to do the same thing AND complain about it. There is a word for someone who does what you're doing - it's not a good word at all. YOU either really enjoy this game, OR, you are lacking the ability to LEARN. I'm sorry you are so insecure, but explaining what you need to do is a complete waste of time - you won't get it.
You cannot make him do anything, and it's wrong for you to even try. He lies because it's something he needs to do. You end up being the bad guy for catching him and/or trying to change him. This is who he is, and IF he really wanted to be with you, he would commit to serious therapy and try to change - YES YOU CAN LEAVE HIM, and you should have the second time he lied. Why do you "need" to stay with anyone who lies? I wouldn't.
YOU CAN'T, and need to stop playing his game. Unless you are sewn to him permanently, you CAN and NEED to leave him. There are over a billion men on this planet - nothing says anyone HAS to stay with someone who has issues. People who are dishonest and refuse to take responsibility for it, are not well mentally. Some can change with intense therapy, others literally cannot be changed. It is NOT your job, nor are you qualified to deal with him. Forget the thought that you can change him. You're not a therapist, and he believes he doesn't need one. NEVER go in to a relationship thinking you can change anyone, and NEVER stay with someone who obviously thinks you are the problem. Stop wasting your time with this guy.
Seems like he doesn’t give a damn about you. Liars will pretty much always be liars. It just comes easily to them, I guess. Your best option is to just dump his lying butt. You don’t deserve to be treated like crap, being lied to constantly. Dump him. It’ll hurt to leave him but you’ll feel a lot better later, knowing that you’re not being lied to all the time by someone who you thought was “the one”.