so i sat with my friends all year at lunch and talk with them everyday and they say im thier friend too, and now its summmer. but they never invite me to things. they all do stuff together but i dont because im never invited. i have more friends but these are the ones that i at least think are my best friends.....are they???
Answers (6)
This is a fair question. You have probably heard the term "fake friends" for a reason. It's because it's a common experience to have people use your friendship only when it's convenient for them, but then fail to invest time or effort in you.
Rather than pouting or becoming angry (as we might be tempted to do) when left out of an invite, try this. Begin asking people about their weekends. Ask them what they plan to do. Ask them what they did the previous weekend. Look for things they do that you also do...or for other things you have in common. And suggest that you hang out together sometime. If you take initiative to invite one or two of your friends to hang out with you, it will be a big step in the right direction. And don't take it personally if they don't accept your invite the first time. People are sometimes busy or don't feel like being social. Keep trying. If you consistently invite the people around you to hang out, they will eventually! And people who hang out with you will also be more likely to invite you the next time they do something. For more tips and how-tos on how to make and keep friends, check the sidebar at ToMakeFriends.com which gets into these things in much more detail.
Do you know what the difference is between acquaintance and a friend?
the most fundamental one. Nearly 2,000 years ago, Jesus showed that the key to success in all human relations is unselfish love. He taught: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them.” (Luke 6:31) This teaching has come to be known as the Golden Rule. Yes, the only way to have real friends is to be an unselfish, giving friend yourself. In other words, to have a friend, be a friend. To be successful, friendship must be more about giving than about getting. We must be prepared to put our friend’s needs ahead of our own preferences and convenience. Another key element of happy, long-term friendships is mutual respect. This includes showing consideration for others’ feelings. You want your friends to be tactful and discreet when their tastes or opinions differ from yours, don’t you? Shouldn’t you treat them the same? (Romans 12:10) 10 In brotherly love have tender affection for one another. In showing honor to one another, take the lead. Another way we show respect is by not smothering our friends. Real friendship is neither jealous nor possessive. At 1 Corinthians 13:4, the Bible states: “Love is not jealous.” So guard against the tendency to want your friends all to yourself. If they confide in others, do not take offense and perhaps even shun them. Learn that we all need to widen out in our friendships. Allow your friends to develop other friendships too. What ever you do Do Not Demand Perfection.
Of course, when people get to know each other, they become more aware of the other’s weaknesses as well as strengths. Still, we should not let this hold us back from making friends. “Some expect a bit too much from potential friends,” comments Pacôme, in France. “They want them to have only good qualities, but that’s not possible.” Not one of us has perfection to offer, and we do not have the right to demand it of others. We hope our friends will accept us despite our imperfections and make allowances for us. Shouldn’t we try to overlook our friends’ shortcomings too, by not imagining or overemphasizing them? Author Dennis Prager reminds us: “Flawless friends (i.e., those who never complain, are always loving, never have moods, are fixated on us, and never disappoint us) are known as pets.” If we don’t want to end up with pets as our closest friends, we need to heed the apostle Peter’s advice to let ‘love cover a multitude of sins.’—1 Peter 4:8.
Now an acquaintance is someone that you met but do not have a relationship with. So if you want to have a friend be a friend. For more information please go to jw.org and look up young people ask. You can put in the search field friend.
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