I'm finding school really tough. I haven't got any friends in school, and I'm too shy to attempt to talk to others. I have been depressed since my second year in secondary school. I had friends at that point but I never got to see them because I was moved down a class. This made me feel horrible. I often heard them talking about me behind my back, calling me a bitch and saying I had turned into a bitch when I hadn't given them what they wanted. I got past my 2nd year in secondary school and eventually when I was in my third year of school got moved up a class again. When I got into that class I was with all the people I considered my friends and it was great for a while. I started to feel lonely in school. When I was in my friend group I didn't really feel like I should have been. Then I decided to stop talking to them because as a group I didn't really fit in with the way they acted. Then I started to take anxiety attacks. Everyday I would walk into school into every class and start to panic. I had nobody and I did it to myself. I'm now half way through my fourth year and I feel horrible. I have started acting differently. I feel alot angrier and more depressed. I have started to not appear at school and when I do I don't learn as I mentally cannot pay attention. I was taking a panic attack in the middle of a test a couple of days ago and I started taking a panic attack. I hadn't learnt anything on the test because I had missed so many days of school. So I walked out of school and went home. I know I need to go to school to learn but physically and mentally I can't do anything about it. I have started freaking out before I go to school now. I either go in a couple hours late or don't show up at all because of this. My mum gets stressed because I do this and I hate hurting her like that. I just feel like I can't go in. My hand and arm is covered in scars as I pick my skin when I get stressed. I don't really mind doing it because I can't physically feel it, but it does help relieve pressure in my chest. My mum however doesn't like this. I know I need to stop but I don't really notice when I do it. I should be in school right now and I stayed off without my mothers consent. I feel extremely guilty, but I have started doing this more often. Please help.