I basically crushed on a guy intermediately last year and turns he was crushing on me since the year before.He was all out to impress & lo and behold I fell for him in a span of 6 months. I'm uncertain if I've fallen for him or the version of him he portrayed to me. This year after a long conversation and a slight probe he told me I'm his first love & that he feels strongly about me.(He has planned our wedding!) I don't know if what I'm doing is right because being in this relationship is causing me to lie to my parents about it & I haven't kept things from my parents before so this eats at my conscious.We haven't done anything as such.....Just 2 conversations face to face and a short hug. We mostly chat on Insta since we're in different schools and hardly meet.We met in church basically...... He's also my teacher's son. He's really sweet & always says stuff that'll make me feel good. He makes stuff that to me feel like flaws in myself seem like my strengths. He makes me feel in ways I've never felt before & has taught me to value myself. Every time we text I not only fall for him a little more but learn to love myself way more....... It's like I want to end it just to stick to my moral values.
Answers (3)
You said it yourself when you called it a crush.
Crushes are somewhat like cruising thru life on a nice quiet Sunday drive and out of no where a semi truck crashes into you. That's what it does to your emotions. They get scattered all over the road and you're vulnerable.
Puberty releases lots of hormones into your bloodstream. It races around your system and it makes your brain think everything is romantically perfect and exciting and dramatic and it heightens all the emotions. Everybody goes through it.
Are you in love? Most likely no. Are you in love with the idea of love? Most likely yes. Puberty makes it difficult not to be. All those extra hormones that you've never had before and some dude texting you sweet nothings pretty much guarantees you are going to fall hard. Everybody has a first love and its memorable. It just doesnt make it right.
Love, real love, happens over time through time and shared activities, dating, adventures as a couple and with friends and with each others families. What you've got is basically an electronic pen pal. You don't date and you lie to your parents. Your ego thrives on hearing that your wedding is being planned. And the more he says the fluffier your ego becomes. None of that is love. The chemicals in your brain tells you it is, but it isn't.
Tell him to get off the phone and come over and meet your parents and take you on a date. Go out for pizza and a movie and stop discussing weddings. Spending the next 50 years with someone has to be based on more than phone calls or liking the same pizza toppings.
We've all gone through this and 99.9 percent of us dont marry that person and a few years later when we meet The One we usually look back and say thank heaven that didn't work out.
Best of luck!
Love is when you are aware of a need and you take care of it. That is a lot more work that just being "in love".
When your clothes are dirty you put them in a hamper. That way they don't get walked on. After you wash them you fold them and put them in a drawer, or hang them in the closet, and that way they look nice and are easy to find when you want to wear them again, and they make you look like you take care of your stuff. People see that you take care of your clothes and they think maybe you could take care of a family too.
When you have a car you wash it and change the oil and avoid scratching the paint. Not because the car is such great company but because the car needs those things. In return your car makes you look like a person who takes care of details. People say "She loves her car."
When you can look at a man to see what he needs and how you can take care of him, then you can say you love him.