... distance relationship but we love each other so much.
He's already engaged with his cousin but he doesn't love her and doesn't really want to marry her.
Due to our differences we can't really be together and we already both know that and agreed that once one of us needs to marry we will part ways
We promised to each other to send our wedding pics
But on my part i know he will marry first because his marriage is arranged and i can't move on to another guy until he's in my life
And we've already tried leaving each other many times but still get back with each other
We just can't leave each other now and we know it'll hurt us more in the future
Soon maybe next month he'll go to abu dhabi for work and i also will go to dubai next year for work
We plan to meet, he mentioned me before that he wants to have a child with me without marrying me because that child is the only thing he can have from me
And i said i can't, although i grew up in a western-influenced society, i am now a Christian
I'm not perfect, i sin a lot but i want to save my myself for my future husband
And it hurts so bad i can't breathe because deep inside me i want to be with him to be his wife
I don't know what will happen when we meet, only to separate in the end
It hurts it hurts it hurts..
Sometimes i just want to have an amnesia
Everyday we chat and talk but how long are we gonna be hurt like this
I really don't know what to do
We can't be together yet we can't leave each other
And if we leave now it'll hurt us. So we stay but it'll still hurt eventually.
Really i don't know what to do....both hurts
I'm happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.
I need to hear something that'll make me feel better