no it's not i haven't been happy since i was at least eighteen or nineteen. i've only occasionally felt good but not happy. i read that statement on a dumb blog or something. i recently realised i've been miserable since i graduated. the only thing i have to be proud of is my diploma from school. and medications just mask the problems once you stop them the depression comes back.

about a week or two ago my cousin took me to go hiking on a nature trail. i hadn't felt at peace like that in a long time. the air was clean and i loved the trees and the river. but i never get that feeling at home. i just hate the never ending boredom at home.