I am lost. I have been married for over a decade and we have children. I am not into him though. I think about women to get off and I constantly catch myself looking at women. I even have a woman that is really into me and I am interested.
Am I a lesbian?
Details:
Added 3+ months ago:
I was a young teen when we met at a party. He is eight years older than me. I was from a Catholic private school and I had a huge weekly allowance. He was a dealer and I had been an addict since I was 13 (I was 16 at the time). He gave me ecstasy one night at knifepoint and then had his way with me several times. I found out I was pregnant and I felt obligated to get married. My family was very strict in baby after marriage.
Responses (10)
My husband is much older than me and I have been married to him since I was a teen. He has beaten me, raped me, and treated me like dirt for years. I try to make it all look happy for the kids, but I get tired of playing that role. He has quit being abusive in the past year except for emotionally. I love my kids dearly and I want them to be happy. I will more than likely just wait until they are grown and then leave.
You're turning yourself into a target if you think an abuser will let you leave when the children grow up. And you're denying yourself your life's direction. If you have lesbian leanings like that, you're going to be happier as a lesbian. Lesbian couples raise children but you'll need to prove your physical abuse or he may get the kids. Likely, he'll come after you and your partner in any number of evil ways. To get away now, you'll need a righteous lawyer and maybe a home for abused women where he can't find you or the children. You've been drugged, raped, beaten, verbally and emotionally abused and you want to remain a slave. Get out, live your life like you want. Your husband is a waste of time. And, at least get some advive from a center for abused women.
He was arrested in 2003 for beating me right after our second child was born. He went through a time-out anger management program and had a 1yr. suspended sentence. CPS was called in 2009 and my children told of all the things they had seen when they were interviewed. I was ordered to see a counselor, get substance abuse treatment, get a victim assessment, and family counseling. The domestic violence counselor was the same one I had to see in 2003 and she told me I was at high risk for being killed. My husband was supposed to get offender counseling and counseling but the worker let him weasel his way out of it. He is very smooth like that. I have been clean since Sept. 24th 2009 and completed all my counseling. The police have been called a few times since then, but he was not arrested. The kids have told teachers, counselors, and case workers about their dad. I feel like it is well documented. He has never hurt our kids physically...but I know they have emotional scars and trauma from hearing and seeing me being abused.
Well, you may or may not be lesbian. Lots of people sometimes are attracted to or have some type of feelings for someone of the same gender, but are heterosexual (straight). Really, though, I'd focus on getting you and your children away from your husband.
After all is said and done, though, whether you are lesbian or not, your kids will still love you, and maybe you should go out with the woman you are interested in.
This makes me so angry. If you are not happy, you neeeed to leave him. Happiness comes first. It's better for the kids to see both of you happy and separated instead of angry/sad and together.
As for the lesbian thing, you might just feel an intolerance to men right now with the type of figure your husband is. If you do decide to leave him there is nothing wrong with experimenting. Good Luck!
oh and you probably are
Dang girl, your with someone who's abusive? Get away from him. You children should understand. Plus, you'll still have your kids. If you get off just by thinking of a woman, then I think you probably are a lesbian :) Go get the girl who's into you and leave the dude :) I'm sure you'll be happier. You should probably talk to your children about it first if their old enough to understand. Good Luck :)
The Cost of Loving, Megan Marshall revealed that “the facade of professional competence only thinly concealed the private wounds: disappointed loves, compulsive promiscuity, lesbian experimentation, abortions, divorce and just plain loneliness.” She tells how the women’s movement gave birth to the “Myth of Independence,” but for most, this is not working.
Marshall concludes that “we must believe in the long-term love that a good marriage protects,” that “the human self does not exist in isolation,” and that “we must find others to care for, and who will care for us.” This calls to mind the words of the greatest Teacher ever on earth, Jesus Christ. “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.”—Acts 20:35.
For more information on this subject and others, please go to jw.org "Online Library." Also for free downloads, publications or read online.
Its alright to be a lesbian.. you cant control it.
Physical attraction has a big part in marriage.
If your not attracted to him, you must let him know!!
And as far as your kids go,
you can still keep them and have a normal life.
Think about your happiness, not your husband.
He will understand.
Good luck doll,
stay strong.