I'm only 15. I'm a guy. I really want you guys to understand how I'm feeling and tell me how I can change. The last few years, I've been always been shy and introverted. I'd call myself socially awkward sometimes. When I first moved to Canada I got bullied, this really destroyed my confidence. For 2 years I had no real friends and I would cry when I got home and skip alot of school. Now I'm in 10th grade, and I feel like a different person when I'm at school than when I'm at home. I sit in class and listen to music. I know some people but don't talk to people. I feel like I'm always being judged. I like to talk to people sometimes but usually I just sit and do my work. I don't know what to say to people. I don't want to be fake and talk about things I don't care about. I'm embarrassed of who I was in the past and hate being an outcast. Girls think I'm weird, guys don't really consider me a friend. I'm not interesting at all at school. I have interests but I feel like I don't know how to express myself. I feel like I can't get out of this loop. It makes me sad to live like this. All I want is someone who really understands me. I really don't like myself. Sometimes I question why I am even living
I'll try and help you with certain things you mentioned.
Age - Because you're 15, your hormones will be all over the place, so you can blame some of what you're feeling on that. I bet you by the time you're 23, you'll feel at least slightly better.
School - If you sit on your own in class, I'm 100% certain that at least 1 lad will come over and talk to you. I think it's programmed into us, to not let anyone feel left out. If you can't think of things to talk about, start off with girls. Just say "Who's your celebrity crush at the minute"?
... Mine's Kaley Cuoco haha. No-one's better looking than her in the world in my opinion lol.
Another one could be what music you like, another one could be sport. There's loads of stuff.
Weirdness - Are you any good at music? Like... can you play an instrument?
I noticed you said you think you're weird. Well.. most of us (musicians) are, so it might be something to look into? Weirdness = Creativity.
As you get older, you'll get better at using the weirdness to attract girls. For example, I was talking to a girl about aliens the other day. Just went up to her and said do you believe in aiens?
Everything you say is considered normal in high school. That is to say, everything sux in high school and nobody wants to be bothered with your problems.
Take acting classes. Learn to act normal. Fake it till you make it. Go to the library and get stories and practice reciting them.
www.youtube.com/results?search_query=aaron+wilburn (Wow. Just wow.)
www.youtube.com/results?search_query=utah+phillips (Raunchy, but well told.)
www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jerry+clower (Jerry doesn't tell stories, he whoops them.)
As for the girls, go to a book store and ask for Elizabeth Browning. You can tell a girl you are taking voice classes and you need her to critique your presentation. Then read a few poems to her.
I feel as though you just described me. I am 20 years old and I feel as though what ever comes out of my mouth is never good enough. I have my good days and my bad days. I believe my good days are when I wake up and just say, "I don't care today, I am just going to say what I want (to an extent) and smile." Somedays are really good and I have realised its all about how you think about things, I just think, everyone has their insecurities you are most definitely not alone. I have also noticed that things are never as they seem, people may seem so happy on the outside and as though they have so many friends and no faults. But the majority of people are struggling just as you are, you should never feel alone. Relationships take time believe me, please don't give up.
Hey there! I`m in the 10th grade too, and trust me I know High School can be rough. South Carolina is a really bias area. Everyone judges you no matter what. The way i see things i tell my few friends "who cares what people say, i came to get my education i didn't come for them." I dont really want to get a all religious here but everyone has a purpose on earth. You`re an amazing person who is definitely here for something great. If you need someone to talk to you can email me. Here`s my e-mail email@example.com