... I had provided for him. I get a call from the funeral director today and he asked me if I was certain it wasn't the right shirt. I told him that I was very certain and that had I wanted him in a dress shirt then I would have also provided a tie. He kinda chuckled and said sorry there must have been a mix up and he got someone else's shirt. I made it clear that I was not happy about the fact that my dad had just been buried in a strangers shirt. He did say sorry again and was more sincere that time and said he would call the owner and see what can be done. I guess I kinda have two questions, should I be upset about this, what should I expect them to do about it? Obviously I do not want them to dig him up just to change his shirt. Any advice would be appreciated
My condolences for your loss and distress.
I'd like to point out that, whilst I cannot guarantee it to be the case, there's such a thing as "nervous laughter", out of place as it may seem, which had for example been very clearly demonstrated in an experiment involving inflicting harm (not in the context of sadism). So he perhaps hadn't intended to sound disrespectful initially.
I have seen several articles regarding cases of what you describe, and worse - wrong casket, location of burial. Seems quite disorganised. Example:
https :// wreg . com / news/family-says-veteran-taken-to-wrong-funeral-buried-in-wrong-place/
You are grieving. You've paid good money for the funeral arrangement, which had not been carried out precisely as instructed. Of course you have the right to be upset. How upset you are, and how you decide to act upon your frustration, is entirely up to you. No objective measurement of either of these would make you feel as content in the decision.
Aside from correcting the mix up (don't forget there's likely another person involved whose opinions might differ), I can only see them offering recompense in the form of a refund, which might be unlikely, require litigation.
By the way, in the jewish burial tradition the dead are buried without clothing or bijoux, beyond a shawl. It is symbolical of human equality. Shirt or not, your love for your father is what truly matters.