‘Dating’ a separated woman?

Posted:: 3+ months ago by JBAJ0281
Topics:: woman, dating, feel, opinion, question, divorce

Details:

I’ve been dating a woman who is separated and awaiting divorce. My question is, should I have an opinion about her ‘ex’ that feels the need to call or text her every time he has a bowl movement (being facetious).

To call in regards to their children, totally acceptable. But to constantly feel the need to contact her for asinine reasons just because makes me uncomfortable.

She doesn’t answer all the time and most times she doesn’t even respond unless it’s child related. However I was wondering if I should talk to her about it or just let it go? I know 100% she can’t control what he does - to an extent - she can only control how she reacts to it.

But should she somehow ask him to kindly stop contacting her outside the realm of their children as far as reasons are concerned? He’s like clockwork - he’ll text if he’s bored, call five times in a row if she doesn’t answer.

Anyway, has anyone else experienced this? I just don’t want to open some can of worms. Or should I just ignore it.

Added 3+ months ago:

Also, it’s not a matter of trust. It had to do with this guy is just belligerent, he’s a narcissist and they were together for over 20 years - she was finally able to break away on her own (way before she even met me). But he still acts like he has or should have control even though she resists his comments and remarks.

It just makes me uncomfortable because of how he treated her and how it’s affected her and how he’s still trying to affect her. And my hands are tied as far as being able to say or do anything.

Answer this Question

Report Mark as Favorite

Answers (1)

lando

It's understandable that you feel uncomfortable with your partner's ex constantly contacting her for trivial reasons. While it's important to respect their communication regarding their children, it's also reasonable to want to establish boundaries around non-essential communication.

It might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns. Let her know that you're not trying to control her or her relationship with her ex, but that you're feeling uneasy about the frequency and nature of his messages. Ask if she has any thoughts or ideas about how to handle the situation.

It's important to approach the conversation in a non-judgmental way, as your partner may still have complex feelings and dynamics with her ex. Try to listen and validate her feelings, while also expressing your own. Together, you may be able to come up with a solution that feels comfortable for both of you.

Ultimately, it's up to your partner to decide how to handle her ex's behavior. You can offer support and suggestions, but it's important to respect her autonomy and decisions. If she's comfortable with the level of communication, you may need to accept that as part of her life and relationship with her ex. However, if it continues to make you uncomfortable, you may need to reassess whether this relationship is the right fit for you.

Votes: +1 / -0

Comment Vote up Vote down Report

JBAJ0281

I appreciate your feedback! I guess my issue is that while separated he’s not even giving her breathing room, he’s constantly texting her - regardless of whether or not she responds or acknowledges his text. For instance, at 6:00AM!!! He texted twice just to remind her of some death he had in the family years ago.

I know it’s ultimately up to her to politely ask him to stop badgering her - but should I even suggest that? Should I suggest to her that it would be good to ask him to stop with irrelevant texts and contact?

Add Comment