What is the problem? No foreplay and he always has excuses.
Dear brownie, Hello, my name is Dr. Steve Mahannahan. When it comes to relationships that last for a long time, there are many factors that can keep it healthy. Sex is one of those factors. When it comes to sex, men and women both have basic and simple desires. But what most people don't know is that after a long time in a relationship, men enjoy being the woman. That's right, men enjoy taking the female role during sex. It's called penis inversion. It's a simple and painful procedure where the woman peels back the upper vascular hood, and turns the penis completely inside out. Now many people assume that to do this you need a doctor, but trust me, I am one, and it's a little more simple than consulting a medical practicioner. The penis is a very flexible organ, and is very simple to turn inside out. I hope this has been helpful! - Dr. Steve
Talk to your husband explain that your needs aren't being met and suggest ways to work on it. If he won't participate then you may need to have a more difficult conversation. Because if you tell him this is a problem for you and he won't address it then you've got bigger problems. If he is invested in your relationship and loves you he will want to change to please you
That is always one of the hardest questions to answer, it makes it more difficult when very limited information is given. I know it might be embarrassing to say certain things publicly, but in order to get the most accurate answer more details would need to be given. Some information needed would be, how long have you been married, how different do you look now from when you were married, when did this problem start, do you remember any life changing events that happened during that time, has he always been faithful... A lot of details will be needed to give you an answer that is actually useful. Because at this point the answer could be anything from, he is seeing someone else, he doesn't find you attractive, he is pleasuring himself earlier in the day, he has hormone levels are low, depending on age he might be afraid of having children, also depending on age he may just not want sex anymore, or he might secretly be gay and only married to keep up appearances and is having a hard time keeping up the farce. As you see there are way to many answers with so little information. If you are not willing to give that information publicly then, in a very gentle but direct way, you need to approach your husband about this. You could say,"There is something that has been bothering me for a while. There is something I need to ask you and I need an absolutely honest answer, even if you think the answer might hurt me, I need to know this because, right now, not knowing is hurting me so much more than anything you could say. Knowing the true reasons to this question, no matter how hard they may be to say, will ultimately make us happier once we both know and can work on a solution. Please tell the reason we don't have sex anymore?" If he bucks at the question or give some "I have a headache" reason, keep calm and say,"I know you think you are sparing my feeling by not telling me the real reason, but not knowing is truly killing me and is breaking my heart. I can handle anything you tell me, and I mean anything, because I have thought of every possible reason including the improbable and they are consuming me. So I beg you, please, if you do truly want to spare my feelings, please tell me the real reason why." If he still give you some,"I have to wash my hair." Excuse the you need to tell him,"My needs are not being satisfied, I need a more physical relationship with you to know that we are still together. If we need to talk to someone, or if there is something I can do through the day to help get you in the mood, or whatever. I am willing to do almost anything to make this work but I can't continue going on like this because I am dying inside and I don't like feeling like that all the time." In closing, before you do any of this, you need to realize that asking these questions might be a Pandora's box. So just be prepared. Your happiness is the ultimate goal, and you need to prepare yourself. To reach that happiness might include the possibility of not being married anymore. I do hope things go well for you and that in the end you find what you are looking for.