Wearing breast enhances day and night causes me to be in pain most of the time, I get a kick outta this, sorta like revenge on them, I'm getting usta living with the pain and am constantly trying to talk myself out of causing them more damage. Sounds mad but I can't come to terms with the fact that they are a part of me so the thought of the pain I could inflict on them doesn't bother me at all, the guilt I feel when I eat makes me throw up because I feel like I'm fueling something I hate. I can't remember what they look like as I've managed to adapt a way of avoiding them with my eyes even if I'm compleaty naked. I'm already on anti depressants and my boobs contribute to the need for them massively. I've tried saving but to no avail as there's always something that'll pop up so ill have to spend the money be it my car or whatever. I know you can get finance but my credit check fails me and my boyfriend of 8 years refuses. It's taking its toll on our sex life abit, I have to be partly clothed and he's not allowed to see or touch them, not because I'm embarrassed but I just can't bear to acknowledge them, I actually start crying if he does touch them, which doesn't often happen because he knows how much it upsets me. I'm so worried that I will snap one day and in blind madness do something to myself