i still eat but have all the mental affects of an eating disorder. I always feel fat and hate myself for eating and i feel like i'm never skinny enough and sometimes starve myself but i always end up eating but very little amounts and when i do eat alot i start crying and get mad at myself. It all started when one day i got so sick that i stopped eating for 2 weeks and i lost 10 pounds and i looked much more skinny so i kept trying to starve myself and i kept getting skinnier and the more skinnier i was the more happy about myself i was but to me i was still never skinny enough and hated myself when i ate and i felt fat eating in front of anyone if they did not ask me if i was ok cause them worrying about why i ate so little made me feel pretty. i always weigh myself and i'm never happy with what i weigh no matter how low and the only reason i didnt weigh less than 89 pounds was cause my mom said if i weigh less than that she would put me in a hospital where they would make me eat. later when i recovered i started eating normal and almost gained all the weight i loss but now i look fat and i'm not skinny anymore so i tried to starve myself again but i cant i always end up eating which makes me hate myself even more. So i don't have a eating disorder cause i still eat and i just dont want to be fat anymore i want to be skinny like i was before and every day i regret recovering from it. The only way i will ever feel skinny is if i weigh so little my mom ask me if im ok. Help :(