i have been with my girlfriend for a little over two years now. i gave her a promise ring, and i gave her my word to one day marry her. i have every intention of fulfilling my word and i love the girl to death. However, i made a huge mistake about a year ago of cheating on her with two different people while i was away at college. It was one time with each girl, and the second time i couldnt do anymore and i walked out and havent done anything like it since. It has torn me apart ever since ive done it, and i even cried about it the minute after it happened. I wasnt thinking at all and was just being stupid. Letting my hormones get the best of me. It meant nothing to me and i would never do it again. Part of me tells me that i shouldnt tell her because ive learned from my mistakes and that ive already all but killed myself over it. I wouldnt want anything to happen to us, especially over such a dumb mistake. The other part of me wants to tell her just because i feel like it is her right to know. Personally, i know i would be so angry if she did the same to me. So should i tell her, or should i just do my best to ignore it? I feel so terrible having done it.
You should tell her. The longer you leave it, the worse it's gonna get, ad it'll be a thunderstorm if she found out by other means. Tell her what you did, how you felt, and that you've learnt from your mistake. I'm not gonna lie, this is gonna hurt her a lot, and she might end the relationship, but you've got to tell her the truth, not keep it from her. It's not fair on both of you.
You did it now you have to live with it. If you tell her you are going to make her feel bad but you feel better so why would you want to tell her? If you have no intention of doing anything like that ever again you should shut up, let her be happy and live with what you've done instead of tearing her world apart just to ease your conscience.
Maybe, if you do want to marry her, then you should tell her in a gentle sort of way and you should explain how much it hurt you to keep the secret from her and explain that you didn't want to tell her sooner in case she walked out on you or something like that. That's what I would do.
I was in the same situation with my bf of 3 years I cheated On him and he gave me a promise ring before he knew what i did. I kept the secret for 5 months because my Guilt was eating me up. I think she deserves to know. she will end up finding out sooner later and it will be better If she hears it from you. My bf forgave me and I'm working on regaining his trust I rather do that then live with something like the lie I kept as a secret from someone i loved so much. I couldn't live with myself
Well, coming from a woman.. I don't tolerate cheating. Cheating is a horrible thing to do, I understand you regret it, but tell her. I wouldn't want to marry someone who was with another woman while commited to me. I love my boyfriend, but if he cheated I'd break it off, and maybe she'd feel the same way.