... to remember I thought I was fat. According to others and health charts I was always tall and skinny but it never felt that way. I would remember being as young as 7 and watching how my friends ate to make sure I would go slower and finish last and I always took note that my bestfriend was tinier than me. Once I got to middle school and started cheerleading I would spend countless hours looking at myself and criticizing every part of my body deeming they were too fat and jiggly. I would make myself throw up on occasion but it was always too hard and I never could perfect it. In highschool it was always a huge set back in relationships because they would notice and it would cause conflict. I would go periods of not eating and lose the weight and then bing and re gain it only to feel horrible about myself. I'm not skinny enough to have an eating disorder. I'm 5'6 and 120 pounds which kills me to say. The thought of weight and obsessing over it takes over my mind and is all I think about. Al day at work I go on Instagram and lookup "skinny" or "Thinspo" to motivate myself to get back on track and finally lose that weight. It is a constant obsession but it's not an eating disorder.... What can I do to help myself? People say it's just a phase but it's been going on my whole life and I'm twenty now.... I really would like to know if anyone is like this also ?
My friend is just like this. she is always saying how she is fatter than me (not true) and she stops eating and makes herself throw up. But you dont seem fat, alot of it is in your head. its good to eat and if you think of yourself badly, other will pick up on it. You should love your body and how it looks. your body needs food, and you shouldnt make yourself throw up, without food, your body will get weak, and you cant do simple tasks without getting tired.