My wife of just over one year left me 9 weeks ago and I am a compleat mess because of it. We have been together for 11 years and I honestly thought we were soul mates, we had allways bickerd like most couples do and I never expected her to walk out on me as she never showed any signs that she was unhappy in our relationship. I believe she has had a break down due to loosing her mother from cancer 10 months ago she held her grief so well and then BANG!, basically we had a little argument the afternoon she walked out and hasn't returned since, I've wrote her a lovely letter saying how much I had learnt from our split and how things would be so much better if she would just give our marriage the chance I believe it deserved and also made a video with photos of our wedding day to a very lyrically fitting song basically telling her how much I love and miss her, shortly after she had read my letter she text me to say she had read it about 5 times the previous night and that the things I had said were right, we met up and she talked about moving back home she kissed me and told me she loved me, and then 30 minutes or less later she says she loves me and misses me, wants me to be apart of her life but doesn't know if she wants to be with me or not nor give me the wrong impression....huh!?!?!?... Obviously very confusing! . I've cried myself to sleep so many times over this as I really do love and miss her ever so much and just want her to come home, especially as it christmas eve tomorrow. I feel I have given her lots of space by not contacting her for days I've tried to make her think I'm not needy of her too, I've just run compleatly out of ideas on what's stopping her? She is confused herself but its doing my head in so much I have even contemplated suicide as I'm so depressed over this I just wish I knew what has made her leave me as that might give me something to work on or sattisfy my way of thinking to some degree. why is she confusing and hurting me so much if like she says " she loves me" and how can I win back her genuine affection?